living is in the texture

have you ever thought about dying? 

well not the dying, but the realization of dying. 

the thin veil between living and dying. 

do you ever think about that? 

i do. 

sometimes when a moment is so full 

    i feel like i am choking on it. 

i think – i will see this right before the darkness 

   settles on me. 

i will see their faces. and smell this june night. 

i will hear these crickets and their laughter 

    trailing through the leaves. 

i will feel her hair tickle my face as 

  she settles contentedly into my shoulder. 

when my lungs exhale for the final time - 

    the delicate veil rips and the ethereal 

       dissolves into eternal. 

i will smile. 

and recite Blake, “to see a world in a grain

   of sand. to hold infinity in the palm of

 your hand.” 

one day would have been enough. 

the living is in the texture. 

and I held thousands of grains.

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